From the outside, the answer to infidelity can seem simple: leave. But when children, shared finances and decades of history are involved, the decision can be more complicated.
For Edith Jones, staying was not primarily about forgiveness. She felt her family’s circumstances left her with little choice.
“We were married in August,” she recalls.
“By Christmas, I found out. I thought I was enough, but apparently not.”
Over the years, there were more affairs, some short and some serious, each leaving its mark.
“It chipped away at me,” she says.
“At my confidence, at how I saw myself. But I had kids, no income, nowhere to go.”
Edith had left her job at the bank when she married, making financial independence difficult.
“When I married, I had to leave my job at the bank,” she says.
“That’s how it was then. If I left, I’d have nothing. I couldn’t put my kids through that.”
“I stayed for financial support and for my three girls. If I’d walked out, he would have built another life, and they’d have lost their father completely.”
When leaving isn’t so simple
Edith’s experience reflects some of the circumstances that can make leaving a relationship more complicated.
The Australian Institute of Family Studies’ 2026 report highlights the financial consequences that can follow when one partner reduces or leaves paid employment to care for children.
It notes that individualised financial arrangements can leave the non-primary earner, usually the mother, economically disadvantaged.
For Edith, that financial dependence was a significant part of her decision.
Emotional intelligence and human behaviour specialist Amy Jacobson says people who stay after infidelity can face circumstances that are not visible to others.
“Every marriage carries layers, financial safety, family dynamics, emotional dependency. Staying doesn’t always mean weakness. Sometimes, it’s strategy.”
Ms Jacobson says understanding the reasons behind the decision is important.
“The key is to understand why you’re staying,” she says.
A 2026 study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy examined the experiences of 11 people who had remained with their partners after infidelity.
Researchers identified several factors that influenced participants’ decisions to stay, including the length and history of the relationship, perceptions of the infidelity and concerns about the impact of separation on their families.
Seven of the 11 participants also had children.
Rebuilding trust after infidelity
For those who remained together, rebuilding trust emerged as a major part of the recovery process, alongside social support, therapy and communication.
The 2026 study identified rebuilding trust as one of the major themes in the recovery process, alongside factors including social support, therapy and communication.
Edith knows that uncertainty well.
“Even years later, I’d find myself wondering where he was, who he was talking to,” she says. “It changes the way you see everything. I used to be easy going. After the affairs, I became guarded.”
Yet Edith says she does not regret staying.
“I made a choice, I protected my children, I kept the house, I made sure they grew up stable. That’s what mattered.”
The financial security of her family was tied to the marriage, making separation a far more complicated prospect than simply deciding whether she wanted to stay.
“I learned to stop depending on him for how I felt about myself,” she says.
“Even though I stayed, I built my own strength. I stopped asking why he did it. I started asking what I needed to survive.”
Ellie Palmer
Ellie Palmer is a Journalism and Broadcast Media student at Edith Cowan University with a passion for TV journalism and live broadcasting. She enjoys telling engaging stories, speaking with people and bringing important issues to life.
